Receita para um amor maldigerido

Por xicosa

13/03/13 01:19

Relendo aqui “Tia Júlia e o Escrevinhador”, romance que mais gosto do peruano Vargas Llosa, me deparo com uma receita purgativa para o sofrimento por causa de homem ou de mulher:

“Para dores de amor, nada melhor do que leite de magnésia (…). Na maior parte das vezes, os chamados males de amor, etcétera, são distúrbios digestivos, feijões duros que não digerem, peixe estragado, entupimento. Um bom purgante fulmina a loucura do amor.”

O enfezamento, ainda especulam os personagens ao redor de Tia Júlia, muitas vezes se transforma na melancolia ou na infinita tristeza de ter perdido alguém ou de não conseguir a correspondência amorosa.

No meu escatológico e ao mesmo tempo romântico “Big Jato” –pense num best-seller fuleiro!-, a dor existencialista da mãe do narrador é, de certa forma, atribuída à prisão de ventre. Desculpe a autopromoção e a cara de pau (não comprem!), mas gostei da coincidência.

Se faz sentido prático e científico, não faço a menor ideia, mas pelo menos o humor –daí a origem da palavra enfezado- como muda. Ô!

Quantas vezes não corri à farmácia, em horas inconvenientes, em busca de milagrosos tamarines, cascolaxs e magnésias para a amada.

Você aí que limpinho, do tipo que sai desesperado correndo para tomar banho depois do sexo, pode achar sujeira esse papo.

Você aí cheio de clichês sobre os efeitos da TPM etc…

O amor não é para amadores, amigo, o resto é folclore de boteco.

O amor está nos detalhes. Como Deus ou o triunfo de um time em um Fla x Flu e qualquer outro grande clássico.

Na obra “Os remédios do Amor – Os cosméticos para o rosto da mulher”, o poeta Ovídio, ainda no ano 43 a.C., também aposta em receitas que mais parecem simpatias populares. Recomenda o uso de ervas, chás do mato etc.

Quando se trata de dores de amor, você aí amigo de Aldeia Campista -subúrbio carioca-, que me consultou ontem sobre o assunto na Cobal do Humaitá, qualquer receita serve.

Todo amor é um tanto quanto superstição. Vale quase tudo para curá-lo. De psicanálise a despacho na encruzilhada.

Entre o leite de magnésia da Tia Júlia e os chás do raizeiro Ovídio, sempre preferi uma bula particularíssima que, de novo, recomendo:

Se a vida dói, drinque caubói.

Com Roberto, Chico Buarque, Waldick ou Leonardo Cohen na vitrola, óbvio. Chifre, meu velho, pode até não ser cultura, mas também depende de receita & estilo.

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