Complexo de Édipo com a mãe alheia

Por xicosa

06/03/13 18:12

Publico uma velharia ai do meu embornal de crônicas, atendendo o pedido de uma mulher a quem me devoto. Pediu de um jeito, ontem na Mercearia São Pedro (SP), que jamais poderia deixar de atendê-la. É pra você, R.

As mulheres com filhos são especiais, especialíssimas, como sempre sublinho nestes papiros mudernus.

Porque tem homem que morre de medo do que se costuma chamar por ai vulgarmente de “pacote completo”, quando a deusa vem com os seus meninos à tiracolo, canguruzinha marlinda.

Se bem que conheço também amigas que temem mais do que nós hombres. Diante do menor barulho dos diabinhos fazem cara de Herodes.

Eu faço é cara de marido.

E tenho inveja porque não são meus. E tenho inveja porque não pude influenciá-los, ainda, nem na escolha do time.

Tudo bem, já saquei muito da cachola aquela lengalenga tipo Brás Cubas: não quero deixar na terra o legado da minha miséria etc etc.

Balela. Bora fazer menino, minha musa, e confundir de vez criador e criatura.

As mulheres com filhos são o que há de mais tentador nesse lero-lero vida noves fora zero.

Se uma mulher tem o sexto sentido, uma mulher com filho quintuplica o dom de ver e sentir as coisas.

Que venha com menino, cachorro, gato e papagaio -digo menino, ao meu modo nordestino, para designar menino ou menina.

Que venha e pronto.

Agora rio aqui sozinho lembrando da noite em que fui pela primeira vez para a casa de uma ex-ex-ex.

Saía desesperado do quarto em busca de um copo d´água.

O amigo que bebe um pouquinho sabe o que é um homem cego, que não achou os óculos na cabeceira, saindo por uma arquitetura desconhecida, na madruga, em busca de um refrigério para a alma.

Depois de alguns tropicões, seguindo uma fresta de luz, ainda sem fazer ideia onde estava a geladeira, eis que um endiabrado menino, senhoras e senhores, portando uma daquelas armas iluminadas que me levou direto para um conto de ficção científica.

Aquela tocha de fogo aumentou ainda mais a minha sede e desespero. Não se nega um copo d´água a um ressacado, apelei ao nobre rapazinho. Um dia você saberá do que estou falando, reforcei o drama.

Sorriso sádico, o menino, armado com a sua miserável espada de He-Man, não cedeu ao meu apelo. Quem manda mexer com a sua linda Jocasta. Pelos poderes de Grayskull!

O ciúme e a sede de aventura o faziam me espetar e dar pulinhos, às cegas, ridículos pulinhos de cócegas.

Quando fui tomar o mísero copo d´água, o dia já havia dado as caras.

Depois do duelo, nos tornamos grandes amigos. Mesmo eu sendo louco pela sua mamãe ate hoje.

É, agora só me resta lembrar de um hai-kai que escrevi nos muros da UFPE, no Recife, anos 1980: “Que coisa feia/Complexo de Édipo/Pela mãe alheia”.

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