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Xico Sá

Modos de macho, modinhas de fêmea & outros chabadabadás

Perfil Xico Sá é escritor, jornalista e colunista da Folha

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O medo do macho diante da risada da fêmea

Por xicosa
29/05/12 04:02

Homem morre de medo de conversa de mulher. Fato. Em NY, Nanuque ou no Crato.

Mais do que o medo do goleiro diante do pênalti. Mais que tudo nessa vidinha sururu, minha gente, como definia nossa pequeneza o vovô Graça.

Uma rodinha então, nuestra madre, mesmo que o cara seja, digamos assim, muito seguro, treme nas bases. Não está sendo fácil, amiga cantora Kátia, confesso.

Homem morre de medo. Uma rodinha de fêmeas em gargalhadas, lascou, meu caro Lacan. O cara vai direto para a labiríntica estrada do encanamento. Sempre acha que estão rindo dele. Sobre performance ou sobre a alta literatura comparada de tamanho de pênis. E bote etc nisso.

Detalhes tão pequenos de dois nós dois são coisas muito grandes para esquecer. Aqui entra o contraditório canto do Rei Roberto, como discutia com os amigos Lirioboy e Villeneuve, em pleno Cachoeiro do Itapemirim, durante a Bienal Rubem Braga. Classe.

Deixa quieto. A gente encana mesmo. É o que pega na mente vida simples dos homens. Seja o mais cafa e dito safo. Seja o mais ingênuo tipo verdes anos. Que fazer, velho camarada Lênin?

Vale, só para variar, mais uma verdade do tio Nelson: todo homem deveria nascer com 35 anos para cima. Vero. Mesmo assim ainda é uma criança. Juro. Palavra de um “old man”, emplacamento anos 60, como na música de Neil Young que escuto enquanto escrevo.

Agora já podemos viajar para Nanuque, no Vale do Mucuri, Minas Gerais, como dito na cumeeira deste texto. Deu no noticiário, veja aqui no UOL Notícias, que  real doideira.

Neste singelo sítio uma mulher foi condenada a indenizar o ex-companheiro porque, além de traí-lo, fez gracejos sobre o desempenho sexual do camarada. Sim, uma piadinha aqui outra ali entre os (as) colegas comuns de firma.

O Tribunal de Justiça aplicou uma multa de R$ 8 mil na servente industrial -nomes não foram revelados, graças a Deus. Teria a nossa Bovary de Nanuque submetido o marido a danos morais e “situações vexatórias”. Não sobre tamanho nem documento. Sobre desempenho depois de anos e anos de casório.

Que julguem eles, jamais este mui castigado escriba.

Só sei que foi um instrutor de autoescola, segundo o processo, que reacendeu a acusada para a vida.

Depois de dez anos de lar-doce-lar…, meu amigo, não fique chateado, “acabou chorare, tá tudo lindo”, como na trilha final aqui dos Novos Baianos.

Fica um bom conselho, que te dou de graça, amigo platônico de Nanuque:  dispense essa grana, muito alta para ela, de quem te amou no tempo certo e por uma década!

O que acham, meus sensíveis leitores?

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