Nova D.R. Cachoeira e velhos tipos de D.Rs
25/05/12 17:04
A primeira D.R. da história, a bíblica, na visão de R.Crumb
Um amigo dos bons, acossado pela mulher em uma discussão de relação heavy metal, apelou: Eu me reservo ao direito constitucional de ficar calado. Canalha!
Acabara de patentear a D.R. CPI ou D.R. Cachoeira. Em apuros, o homem, quase sempre mais frouxo e escorregadio que a mulher, recorre a expedientes impensáveis.
Esse mesmo canalha supracitado, em outro relacionamento, chegou a fingir um princípio de infarto. Havia sido flagrado de calças curtas em um romances clandestino.
A mitológica D.R., sigla para discussão de relação criada pelas meninas do “02 Neurônio” ainda em tempos de fanzines, pode ser mesmo um exercício penoso. E não somente para os relapsos modos de macho. Também para as fêmeas, óbvio.
Ao apelar para os direitos constitucionais, o amigo cascateiro –ou cachoerístico!- me lembrou velhos tipos de D.Rs catalogadas ao longo de quase 50 de vida e meia dúzia de casamentos.
Neste primeiro lote, as D.Rs dos intelectuais ou ditos intelectuais:
D.R. Sartreana – O inferno são sempre os outros.
D.R.Kerouac – A mulher começa a falar e o cara já pega a estrada.
D.R. Marcel Proust – Uma simples conversa sobre um bolinho vira seis grossos volumes.
D.R. Kurosawa – Uma discussão lenta, imagens lindas, arrozais sob montanhas, silêncios que falam coisas, uma peleja quase em ideogramas. Pense!
D.R. MPB – Indecifrável e incompreensível como o “zum de besouro ímã” do verso do Djavan. Muita onomatopéia e nem uma idéia os males da D.R. são. É uma D.R. assim “nem menina nem mulher, lilás”, como no enigma de uma canción de Zé Ramalho.
D.R. Erística _ Como na corrente homônima herdada dos gregos, a arte de triunfar no barraco oral mesmo sem ter razão.
D.R. punk-rock _ Três acordes e vai cada um pro seu lado, dormir na casa da mãe, de um(a) amigo (a), hotel, flat, amante, homeless…
D.R. Paulo Coelho _ Depois de “Onze minutos” de sexo, o barraco sempre começa com uma parábola bíblica ou uma lenda árabe.
D.R. Bartleby _ “Prefiro não discutir”, diz uma das partes, repetindo o mantra do escriturário do livro homônimo de Melville.
D.R. free-style _ É a discussão rimada, estilo rap, passionais MC´s: “Assim você me afunda/ com esse pé-na-bunda/ com essa insensatez…/ meu barquinho já naufraga/bossa nova é uma praga/veja só que a vida fez!”
D.R. brechtiana _ A arte de enfrentar o público, seja num botequim seja numa festa, com o distanciamento do personagem, como se dissessem do palco, a cada golpe, “não é nada disso que vocês estão pensando, controlem-se”.
D.R. Abaporu ou D.R. arte moderna _ Típica discussão sem pé nem cabeça, que para nenhum dos dois interessa.
D.R. metalingüística _ A D.R. da D.R., tipo roteiro de Kauffman (“Adaptação”, o filme), exercício das cabeças requentadas ou das mentes ressentidas.
D.R. grega –Segue um mantra do poeta Eduardo Cac: “Para curar um amor platônico, só uma trepada homérica”.
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