Amor pacote completo
13/05/12 11:26
Amor só de mãe.
No dia Delas, eu escrevo assim, no embalo da filosofia de parachoque, cheio de flores e dedicações manuscritas:
Antigamente quando eu me excedia ou fazia alguma coisa errada, naturalmente minha mãe dizia:”Ele é uma criança, não entende nada”…
Deixo o Tremendão ai na trilha sonora da crônica e, pelos poderes de Graysskull, vamos em frente.
Porque as mulheres com filhos são especiais, especialíssimas, como sempre sublinho nestes papiros modernos.
Porque tem homem que morre de medo do que se costuma chamar por ai de “pacote completo”, quando a deusa vem com os seus meninos à tiracolo, canguruzinha marlinda.
Se bem que tenho amigas que temem mais do que nós hombres. Diante do menor barulho dos diabinhos fazem cara de Herodes.
Eu faço é cara de bom marido.
E tenho inveja porque não são meus. E tenho inveja porque não pude influenciá-los, ainda, nem na escolha do time.
Tudo bem, já saquei muito da cachola aquela lengalenga tipo Brás Cubas: não quero deixar na terra o legado da minha miséria etc etc.
Balela. Bora fazer menino, minha musa, e confundir de vez criador e criatura.
As mulheres com filhos são o que há de mais tentador nesse lero-lero vida noves fora zero.
Incríveis, magníficas, únicas. No papo e na cama.
Agora rio aqui sozinho lembrando da noite em que fui pela primeira vez para a casa dela.
Saía desesperado do quarto em busca de um copo d´água. O amigo que bebe sabe o que é um homem cego, que não achou os óculos na cabeceira, saindo por uma arquitetura desconhecida, na madruga, em busca de um refrigério para a ressaca.
Depois de alguns tropicões, seguindo uma fresta de luz, ainda sem fazer ideia onde estava a geladeira… eis que um endiabrado menino, senhoras e senhores, portava uma daquelas armas iluminadas que me levou direto para um conto de ficção científica.
Aquela tocha de fogo aumentou ainda mais a minha sede e desespero. Não se nega um copo d´água a um ressacado, apelei ao rapazinho.
Sorriso sádico, o menino, armado com uma daquelas miseráveis eespadas de He-Man, não cedeu ao meu apelo. Quem manda mexer com a sua linda Jocasta.
O ciúme e a sede de aventura o faziam me espetar e dar pulinhos ridículos e cegos.
Quando fui tomar o mísero copo d´água, o dia já havia dado as caras.
Depois do duelo, nos tornamos grandes amigos. Mesmo eu sendo louco pela sua mamãe ate hoje.
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