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Quase esqueci o dia da Sogra. Imperdoável

Por xicosa
28/04/12 18:19

Sorte teve Adão, que não teve sogra nem caminhão.

Desculpe ai, mas justo este blog que tem obrigação moral com as efemérides e toda uma cultura de almanaque ia esquecendo o dia mais sagrado. O Dela. A Sogra. É hoje.

Se não fosse a Helen, linda leitora, adeus, não iria prestar a homenagem de sempre às mães das minhas meninas.

Folclorizada no último, espécie de bumba-meu-boi dos casamentos, a sogra sempre foi motivo de chacota e demonização nos lares doces lares.

Óbvio que há um certo e maligno inseticida do exagero pulverizado sobre a mãe das nossas mulheres, mas, convenhamos, as referidas senhoras estão longe de obter o alvará de soltura e de inocência neste debate.

O problema é sério e universalíssimo. Não há a velha divisão antropológica -entre civilização e barbárie- em matéria de sogra. A mãe da cria das nossas costelas age da mesma forma em qualquer parte do planeta.

Seja na Suécia, no Crato ou no reino dos esquimós e avatoscos.

Viram só a iniciativa da Igreja Católica na Itália? Começou a tentar reeducá-las, em nome da manutenção dos casamentos e da paz nos lares doces lares. Incluíu no pacote de moral cristã também os sogros. Eles perturbam menos, porém também carecem de uns bons pitos e cascudos.

O curso para as queridas sogras começou na cidade de Udine, no norte italiano. A tendência é que o Vaticano o estenda pelo mundo inteiro. O projeto, com ajuda de altos e gabaritados psicólogos, se chama “Famílias em diálogo, como ser pais eficientes com filhos que vivem a experiência de casal”.

Em alguns rincões daquele lindo país macarrônico, os sogros são responsáveis por até 50% do desmantelo conjugal dos pombinhos. Os outros 50% devem ficar por conta do tédio propriamente dito e inevitável dos casais, claro, a falta de sexo, a infidelidade, o futebol retranqueiro etc etc.

Nunca cheguei a ter uma dona Olímpia como sogra, mas, amigo, não tenho grandes queixas de nenhuma delas, sempre me alimentaram com bons caldos e sopas e até riram generosamente das minhas pilhérias sem graça nos almoços dominicais. No mínimo, havia um bom tratamento a um poeta maluco que amava suas filhas –com algum risco que isso pudesse implicar, claro.

Dona Olímpia, amigo(a) leitor(a) da Espresso, foi a melhor sogra do mundo, a perfeita, aquela que descobriu a forma de fazer filha e genro felizes. Felizes na medida em que isso é possível em um casório, formalidade que na maioria das vezes destrói os ensaios de grandes amores.

A distinta senhora, reza a lenda lítero-boêmia, existiu de fato, é a personagem maravilhosa do “Livro de uma Sogra”( editora Casa da Palavra, RJ) do escriba Aluísio de Azevedo, aquele mesmo autor de “O Mulato” e “O Cortiço”, tão obrigatórios nas escolas e nos vestibulares.

Com a sua sogra exemplar, no entanto, o maranhense é divertidíssimo.

Livraço. Olímpia, ainda no remoto 1895, sabe tanto das coisas que sempre trata de separar, com pequenas viagens e obrigações nada chatas, a sua filha e o consorte. Tudo para que nunca caiam na rotina acachapante.

Quando noivos, reparem que gênia, ajuda a criar histórias que o deixem no suspense amoroso, apenas com boas pontinhas de ciúmes.

Olímpia, que já havia passado por um casamento desastroso, fastio danado, cuida até em reduzir a solenidade da lua de mel, orientando os recém-casados a se embriagarem sem a obrigação do grande coito na noite inaugural.

A consumação do amor,segundo ela, não poderia ser algo burocrático e abrupto, viria num crescendo de beijos e ternuras até uma explosão naturalíssima. Gênia. Um belo exemplo!

“Sorte teve Adão, que não teve sogra nem caminhão’?

Não concordo não. Pela primeira vez na vida desaprovo uma filosofia de parachoque -escolástica taõ importante na vida quanto a cátedra, seja UFPE, a melhor do Brasil,  seja a USP.

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