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A capanga de um homem de qualidade

Por xicosa
28/04/12 12:38

Voltemos a discorrer, no perigo da hora, sobre o crepúsculo do macho-jurubeba. Urge.

Ao me deparar esta semana, em um banheiro de um moderno restaurante de SP, com dois homens, aparentemente héteros, discutindo sobre técnicas depilatórias e cremes básicos para uma nécessaire masculina, me veio ao cocoruto, imediatamente, a velha imagem da capanga e o kit máximo permitido por um macho-jurubeba.

Como bem sabemos, amigo, o macho-jurubeba é o macho-roots, a criatura de raiz, o sujeito tradicional e quase em extinção nos tempos modernos.

Um personagem que nos parece nostálgico e, de algum modo, folclórico, mas perfeito para nos revelar o universo dos marmanjos até meados nos anos 1990 –quando Deus fez, de uma costela do David Beckham, o ser doravante conhecido como metrossexual.

Vasculhemos, pois, a capanga, usos, costumes higiênicos e os arredores antropológicos deste predador do nosso paleolítico.

Era sim naturalmente vaidoso o macho popular brasileiro. Aqui encontramos os vestígios: um espelhinho oval com o escudo do seu time ou uma diva em trajes sumários, um pente nas marcas Flamengo ou Carioca, um corta-unhas Trim ou Unhex, um tubo de brilhantina, um frasco de leite de colônia, uma latinha de Minâncora e outra de banha de peixe-boi da Amazônia em caso de eventuais ferimentos, calos ou cabruncos.

Em viagens mais longas, barbeador, gillette, pedra-hume –o seu pós-barba naturalíssimo, nada melhor para refrescar a pele e fechar os poros. Alguns pré-modernos e distintos se antecipavam aos novos tempos usando também Aqua Velva, a loção para o rosto utilizada pelos “homens de maior distinção em todo o mundo”.

Vemos aqui também, no kit do macho-jurubeba, emplasto poroso Sabiá, pedras de isqueiro com a marca Colibri e um item atual até nossos dias, o polvilho antisséptico Granado, afinal de contas a praga do chulé é atemporal e indisfarçável. O lenço de pano nem se comenta, não podia faltar nunca.

Ainda no capítulo do asseio corporal e dos bons tratos, façamos justiça às moças. Elas adoravam tirar nossos cravos e espinhas, atitude hoje cada vez mais rara –se alguma o fizer, amigo, a tenha na mais alta conta, a abençoada filha de Eva te ama mesmo.

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