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Na CPI do amor, a casa sempre cai

Por xicosa
21/04/12 00:01

Não, amigo, não me refiro ao hit político da hora: “Meu amor é… cachoeira – lembra?-, clássico do Ronnie Von, nosso mais elegante cavalheiro desde a Jovem Guarda.

Trato de um outro tipo de investigação. O da lama amorosa.

Legítima hacker do amor, a amiga F. entrou na caixa postal do correio eletrônico do marido. Ih, lá vem a mesmíssima história, esse legítimo Hitchcock dos lares doces lares.

Suspense seguido de terror em preto e branco.

Pra completar, a senhorita F. deu uma sherlockadazinha também no celula, de leve, enquanto o cara via lesadamente o Corinthians na Libertadores.

Entre cantadas e semi-cantadas ou apenas bobagens virtuais,  a amiga entrou em desespero,gritou, berrou, imitou o quadro do Munch, discutiu a relação por uma semana, e quase acaba com aquela vida sob o mesmo teto.

Em tempo: era o casal exemplar para todo o grupo de amigos. Sobre a cabeça do canalha havia uma auréola que lhe conferia quase a santidade no seu distrito.

O maridão não havia cometido nada demais. Apenas pecadilhos do varejo do sexo e deslizes, por puro amostramento, nas redes sociais.

Foi o bastante para uma baita crise. Quase uma ruptura. Além de ter deixado a xícara amorosa trincada para os próximos cafés.

Por estas e por outras é que não é nada recomendável quebrar o sigilo postal do companheiro ou da fofolete. Corra, Lola, corra.

Ora, quem, entre nós, resistiria a meia hora de quebra do sigilo amoroso ou sexual?

Como na arrecadação de recursos para campanhas eleitorais, todo mundo, até mesmo no mais escondido dos conventos de devotas beneditinas, já teve o seu passado que condena, o seu “caixa 2” do desejo.

Em pensamentos, atos ou omissões, tanto faz. Em telefonemas, emails ou declarações bêbadas na madruga. Nos chats, entonces…

Ninguém resiste a meia hora de quebra de sigilo. No amor, somos todos, em alguma ocasião, corruptos. Em maior ou menor grau, todos cometemos os nossas deslizes.

Menos naquela hora em que a paixão por alguém nos toma 100% do cérebro e a febre amorosa é capaz de quebrar termômetro.

As despesas com jantares à luz de vela denunciariam os amantes pelo cartão de crédito ou no extrato para simples conferência.

Os porteiros de prédios e motéis seriam os mais perseguidos dos depoentes. A melhor amiga ou o melhor amigo, estas instituições supostamente vestais, também seriam convocados a depor.

Na CPI do amor sobraria até para o entregador de pizzas, que também sabe muito sobre os segredos de alcova.Por estas e por outras, melhor abafar o caso, amor, passa o orégano.

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