Oração à Nossa Sra. do amor de uma mão só

Por xicosa

17/04/12 14:10

O amor sempre tem uma mão só, mão única, o resto é contramão e, de repente, acidentes, como diria Carl Solomon, meu dadaísta do Bronx predileto.

O amor tem uma mão só. E não estamos falando,amigo, daquela máxima do Woody Allen sobre a masturbação: seria a melhor forma de fazer amor com a pessoa que você mais ama.

Tratamos do amor mesmo, o dos pombinhos, na sua forma mais óbvia e verdadeira. Daí repito: o amor sempre tem uma mão só. Mesmo quando é correspondido, nunca o é por inteiro –sempre um ama mais do que o outro. Eis o grande suspense hitchcockiano da existência.

Daí esta oração para ser lida em voz alta, por você, macho ou fêmea, que se acha injustiçado(a), nós que nem Nossa Sra. desata:

Nossa Sra. dos que Amam Sozinho ou amam mais que o outro, perdoa-me pela insistência, nem mais é por tanto querê-la, é por deixar claro, moça que sopra das intimidades dessa oração, que só ela me faz passar da conta, perversa, me faz cair no abismo mais lindo do gozo sem volta, como naquele encosto de beira de estrada, como na rodovia estrangeira de Sam Shepard, crônicas de motel, simbora!

Nossa Sra. dos que só pensam nela, cotovelos lanhados de tanta espera, tantos sustos nas ruas, nos bares, “é ela!!!”, Nossa Sra. Dos Cotovelos da Surpresa e das janelas, tão gastos, cinzas, peles, dobras, e tanta fome de viver aqui dentro, megalomaníaco, épico, terá sido a força do desprezo???

Não creio, sr. Albero Moravia, meu guru romano de tantos conselhos amorosos.

É mesmo a paudurescência, nostalgia precoce das grandes histórias, o tempo inteiro, pensando, pensando, pensando, nela.

Os joelhos lanhados pela romaria, devoção e insistência. A santa padroeira que chora sangue na voz serena de Junio Barreto.

Nossa Sra. da Vida Alongada, Nossa Senhora da Yoga que deixa o corpo dela piscando na parte que me toca.

Amor demorado, anjo exterminador da alcova.

Amor por tê-la, rara.

Beijá-la delicadamente, como um católico que dissolve na boca uma hóstia, um evangélico que fala a língua de pentecostes, um judeu ortodoxo, como este aqui passa agora na frente do meu predinho antigo.

Amar por horas, riachinhos d´águas que não se sabem donde, cada cantinho dum mapa que se inventou só pra se perder depois, sentimento é a verdadeira bússola dum homem, perdido docemente lá embaixo, lá embaixo daquelas tuas vestes modernas que nunca te escondem.

Lua cheia, vida minguante.

Escuto “Le Déserteus”, do velho Boris Vian, ouviste?.

Nossa Senhora dos que sentem muito e amam sozinho, rogai por nós que recorremos a vós!

O amor é mesmo uma rua estreita, que mesmo com todo progresso e planejamento urbano de 2046, sempre terá uma mão só. Engarrafada. Sem saída.

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