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Pedagogia da manga para novas gerações

Por xicosa
08/04/12 00:24

Mil perdões pelo sexo hortifruti explícito.

Sorry, seu Adão, mas a manga é a nova maçã.

E chega de gracinha fácil. Vamos ao que interessa no mais sério dos blogs brasileiros.

Uma das queixas recorrentes sopradas pelas mulheres, sejam raparigas em flor ou lindas afilhadas de Balzac, diz respeito à pratica milenar do sexo oral por parte dos homens.

Além de displicentes e pouco devotos, os rapazes, em particular os da novíssima geração, não estariam voltados para tal cerimônia como necessário.

“Ou como antigamente,” me sopra o Nostalgido, aqui em um bar sem nome na praça da Estação Ferroviária, Caruaru, onde acabei de ver um showzaço de Junio Barreto, sempre elegante como um samba do Assis Valente.

É, amigo, as moças andam queixosas da nossa oralidade, já não fazemos mais sermões em latim como os nossos pais.

O protesto do megafone do mulherio faz lá o seu sentido. É só o que se ouve nos banheiros femininos, conforme apurou este blog.

Os homens estão chegando aos 20 e poucos sem saber dizer sequer bom dia a uma mulher, como já reclamava o tio Nelson.

Pior. Os marmanjos estão chegando aos 30 indiferentes a um bom agrado oral às moças. Elas merecem, seus preguiçosos.

Esses moços, pobres moços.

Só a pedagogia da manga salva. Foi o que ouvi muito dos mais velhos na juventude.

Os homens maduros, sobretudo nas cidades e vilarejos do interior, aconselhavam os mancebos a chupar a fruta da mangueira como educação sentimental para o futuro macho que desabrochava.

Além de saudável, o exercício evitaria queixas femininas como as que hoje reverberam nas nossas atentas oiças.

Entenda, meu caro rapaz, o ato de chupar manga como a entrega ao lambuzamento e à doce sujeira de guardar o melhor dos cheiros na barba, mesmo que juvenil e rala.

Entenda, jovem mancebo, não há amor limpinho. Lambuze-se.

Daí a pedagogia da manga, meu velho e bom Paulo Freire. Deveria fazer parte do currículo básico.

Outra coisa bastante educativa para a devoção era o ato postal de lamber selos na hora de colar nas cartas. Amorosas ou não. Quem me alertou para esta pedagogia foi o amigo Marçal Aquino, autor de “Miss Danúbio”, entre outros livros.

Como ninguém hoje mais escreve cartas… Imagina lamber o sétimo selo!

Às mangas, meu jovens!

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