Como ganhar tempo mirando as mulheres
05/04/12 13:16
Cardinale, a mulher que parou o Velho Oeste
Quando dei por mim havia passado a tarde inteira, em uma esquina nas imediações da Paulista, a assistir o espetáculo da vida: a passagem das mulheres, seus rumores, seus silêncios, seus enigmáticos sorrisos capazes de tornar a Monalisa um quadro kitsch da 25 de Março.
A desculpa era um almoço seguido do jogo da Champions League no plasma do boteco. Ao final do expediente, nada disso havia tido importância. Gastara a tarde no observatório das passantes.
Às 15h15, pontualmente, desfilou a que valeria anos de espera. A dama tatuada do cachorrinho. Autêntica russa, imagino. Tremenda Maria Sharapova.
No que me lembrei de uma pesquisa inglesa feita sob encomenda da Kodak para saber quanto tempo nos dedicamos a este exercício. O homem gasta, em média, 43 minutos por dia espiando as fêmeas.
E repare, amigo, os britânicos ainda ficaram espantados com este número. Vê se pode. O pior: as moças dedicam apenas 20 minutinhos para mirar os rapazes.
Aqui nos trópicos, a tirar pelo meu mau exemplo, o índice masculino subiria para os seus 90 minutos com acréscimos. Fácil, fácil. Pelas suas contas, entre os 18 e os 50 anos, o homem perderia um ano olhando para mulheres.
Se esta devoção é perda de tempo, quero morrer o maior derrotado e looser da face da terra.
A chegada ou passagem de uma deusa é capaz de congelar até um duelo de brutos no deserto.
Essa eu tirei do filme “Era uma vez no Oeste”, de Sergio Leone. Um velho caubói sugere, na taberna, para a mocinha Claudia Cardinale:
“Vai lá fora e leva uma xícara de café para eles, os homens mudam de assunto ou calam quando vêem uma mulher bonita”. Era a forma de evitar a desgraça.
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