Folha de S.Paulo

Um jornal a serviço do Brasil

  • Assine a Folha
  • Atendimento
  • Versão Impressa
Seções
  • Opinião
  • Política
  • Mundo
  • Economia
  • Cotidiano
  • Esporte
  • Cultura
  • F5
  • Classificados
Últimas notícias
Busca
Publicidade

Xico Sá

Modos de macho, modinhas de fêmea & outros chabadabadás

Perfil Xico Sá é escritor, jornalista e colunista da Folha

Perfil completo

Só o homem feio é feliz. Saiba como

Por xicosa
03/04/12 23:10

O côncavo e o convexo de Sérge & Birkin

Vejo aqui na capa do UOL uma solene pergunta: “É possível ser feliz mesmo se achando feio?”

Cuma assim?, tiro onda com a Gal, a cachorra da linda vizinha que me sorri latindo.

Ora, só é possível ser feliz –se é que a felicidade é coisa terrena- sendo feio.

Todo galã é triste.

Toda deusa é moralmente atordoada e maluca.

Só sei que esta indagação sobre estética e felicidade mexeu comigo. Sempre em defesa dos feios, sujos e malvados, saquei de novo o meu panfleto a favor da categoria.

Dez coisas que um homem feioso deve saber para tirar mais proveito da vida, essa ingrata:

I) Que a beleza é passageira e a feiúra é para sempre, como repetia o mal-diagramado Sérge Gainsbourg –o francês que só pegava mulher fraca, como a Brigitte Bardot e a Jane Birkin, entre outros colossos. Sim, aquele mesmo francês cabra-safado autor do maior hino de motel de todos os tempos, “Je t´aime moi non plus”, claro.

II) Que as mulheres, ao contrário da maioria dos homens, são demasiadamente generosas. E não me venha com aquela conversinha miolo-de-pote de que as crias das nossas costelas são interesseiras. Corta essa, meu rapaz. Se assim procedessem, os feios, sujos e lascados de pontes e viadutos não teriam as suas bondosas fêmeas nas ruas. Elas estão lá, bravas criaturas, perdendo em fidelidade apenas para os destemidos vira-latas.

III) Que o feio, o mal-assombro propriamente dito, saiba também e repita um velho mantra deste cronista de costumes: homem que é homem não sabe sequer a diferença entre estria e celulite.

IV) Que mulher linda até gay deseja e encara, quero ver é pegar indiscriminadamente toda e qualquer assombração e visagem que aparecer pela frente.

V) Que homem que é homem não trabalha com senso estético. Ponto. Que não sabe e nunca procurou saber sequer que existe tal aparato “avaliatório’’do glorioso sexo oposto.

VI) Que as ditas “feias” decoram o Kama Sutra logo no jardim da infância.

VII)  Que para cada mulher mal-diagramada que pegamos, Deus nos manda duas divas logo depois do enlace.

VIII)  Que mulher é metonímia, parte pelo todo, até na mais assombrosa das criaturas existe uma covinha, uma saboneteira, uma omoplata, um cotovelo, um detalhe que encanta deveras.

IX) Que me desculpem as muito lindas, mas um quê de feiúra é fundamental, empresta à fêmea uma humildade franciscana quase sempre traduzida em benfeitorias de primeira qualidade na alcova, como o melhor sexo oral do planeta, para não esticarmos demais a prosa.

X) Saiba, por derradeiro, irmão de feiúra, que a vida é boxe: um bonitão tenta ganhar uma mulher sempre por nocaute, a nossa luta é sempre por pontos, minando lentamente a resistência das donzelas.

Porque, meu bem, como diz o meu amigo Conde do Brega, ninguém é perfeito e a vida é assim.

Mais opções
  • Google+
  • Facebook
  • Copiar url
  • Imprimir
  • RSS
  • Maior | Menor
  • Comentários
  • Facebook

Comentários

  1. Check These Guys Out comentou em 18/07/12 at 9:13

    I have been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or weblog posts on this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this internet site. Reading this info So i am happy to convey that I have an incredibly good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I most certainly will make certain to don’t forget this web site and give it a glance regularly.

  2. top smokeless comentou em 18/07/12 at 9:03

    Substantially, the article is really the best on this laudable topic. I concur in your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your future updates. Just saying thank you will not just be enough, for the wonderful lucidity in your writing. I will instantly be gratifying work and much success in your business endeavors.

  3. click this comentou em 18/07/12 at 6:26

    nicely my friend made a blog and he won’t show me what his blog is until he finishes everything with it. So i was wondering if there was a way to find someones blogger with their email address. If anyone could show me how. thatd be great thanks!.

  4. publishing your music comentou em 18/07/12 at 4:21

    In between my breakfast and coffee break, I took a break from work and stumbled on this post. I found myself immediately intrigued by your proposition that it was that way. Good luck maintaining that in light of the newest models refuting such.

  5. Barton Cavaleri comentou em 17/07/12 at 21:40

    Usually I do not learn post on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very compelled me to check out and do so! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, very great article.

  6. mulberry alexa comentou em 17/07/12 at 15:24

    This article post piece of writing paragraph is nice pleasant good fastidious and fruitful for designed for in favor of in support of all new PHP Personal home pages related web programmers; they must have to read study it and do perform the practice.

  7. karen millen coats comentou em 17/07/12 at 15:24

    This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item,.

  8. karen miller comentou em 17/07/12 at 12:20

    It抯 great enormous impressive wonderful fantastic that you are getting ideas thoughts from this article post piece of writing paragraph as well as from our discussion argument dialogue made here at this place at this time.

  9. check my reference comentou em 17/07/12 at 7:02

    This blog is very cute. The web design is very appealing and eye-catching. The article is well-written and can be considered as an interesting one to read. I never regret of stopping by to your website.

  10. karen millen dresses comentou em 17/07/12 at 4:44

    This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item,.

  11. Lupita Gonales comentou em 17/07/12 at 1:27

    Enjoyed examining this, very good stuff, thanks . “Golf isn’t a game, it’s a choice that one makes with one’s life.” by Charles Rosin.

  12. Modalidad teletrabajo comentou em 16/07/12 at 20:01

    After research just a few of the blog posts in your web site now, and I actually like your means of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site record and might be checking again soon. Pls check out my website as nicely and let me know what you think.

  13. music licensing deals comentou em 16/07/12 at 5:13

    Absolutely written content, Really enjoyed examining.

  14. mulberry bag comentou em 16/07/12 at 3:33

    One more thing that I want desire wish for would like to share here at this place at this time is that, whatever whatsoever doesn’t matter what you are using free blogging service but except however if you don抰 update your blog weblog webpage website web site on regularly daily on a regular basis basis then it抯 no more worth attraction importance.

  15. infrared comentou em 15/07/12 at 16:50

    Definitely with your thoughts here and that i enjoy your weblog! I’ve bookmarked it creating sure that I can come back & read a lot more within the foreseeable future.

  16. Continue comentou em 15/07/12 at 15:19

    Very interesting info!Perfect just what I was searching for! http://kamagra-online-uk.com

  17. karen millen dresses comentou em 15/07/12 at 13:15

    When I want desire wish for would like to place gallery or LightBox or even yet a slider on my website web site site web page I always forever every time try attempt to use jQuery script for in favor of in support of that.

  18. alexa mulberry bag comentou em 15/07/12 at 10:06

    Yes All right Okay you are right correct true, YouTube is best most excellent finest video sharing distribution website web site site web page, because since as YouTube is a lightly no much streaming time rather than other websites sites web sites web pages blogs.

  19. portable heaters comentou em 15/07/12 at 6:16

    Hey! Wonderful post! Please do tell us when we can see a follow up!

  20. http://www.MissNeopoints.com/ comentou em 15/07/12 at 5:43

    The opposite feature subsequently is always to disallow fresh infestations.)#) Through understanding the concepts of route summarization and also road redistribution, you are properly in your way to passing this BSCI assessment and generating your own CCNP accreditation!You ought to be specific your special will be very good regarding this type of many promises and so a lot more males and females may admittance your current blog besides observe it really is stuff.

  21. jagoda acai comentou em 15/07/12 at 2:00

    As soon as I found this internet site I went on reddit to share some of the love with them.

  22. sposoby na ³ysienie comentou em 14/07/12 at 20:26

    I enjoy the efforts you have put in this, thank you for all the great blog posts.

  23. hoodia chaser comentou em 14/07/12 at 19:11

    I really appreciate this post. I have been looking all over for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You’ve made my day! Thx again!

  24. mulberry handbags comentou em 14/07/12 at 18:51

    Really Actually In fact Truly Genuinely programming is nothing but except however it抯 a logic, if you take get obtain handle grip control on it then after that afterward you are the master professional else nothing not anything nil.

  25. personal injury comentou em 14/07/12 at 16:44

    Alternative vigor era in the forms of pv, wind, hydroelectric, biofuel, geothermal, and atomic; alternative power hard drive techniques for instance more efficient batteris plus hydrogen gas tissues; as well as option energy-furthering infrastructures by using excellent vigor efficacy most must be delivered on the low-priced cost range by way of advancement.Right now there can`t often always be any kind of amount of rivalry involving each and every mainly because would likely aged cameras tip the particular photograph.0, your current type of Home windows could should be up-to-date so your DESKTOP can easily service USB2.

  26. mulberry handbags comentou em 14/07/12 at 15:39

    I am really actually in fact truly genuinely keen eager of seeing watching viewing funny humorous comical comic videos movies video clips video tutorials video lessons at youtube, and this videos video clip is really actually in fact truly genuinely so funny humorous comical comic, hehehhe.

  27. personal injury lawyer boca raton comentou em 14/07/12 at 14:59

    1 just needs that will push your video camera, send out your current files to be able to somewhat on the notebook or perhaps laptop furthermore impress these people published working with a colored printer’s.To boost functionality, it is advisable to mount additional GOOD OLD RAM memory.A normal PCS cellphone plan gets going from about $29.

  28. mulberry bag comentou em 14/07/12 at 3:43

    Today Now At present In the present day I was so tired, and now this time I have got some relax rest by watching seeing viewing this funny humorous comical comic YouTube video, thanks, keep it up.

  29. karen millen dresses comentou em 14/07/12 at 0:29

    Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

  30. Pingback: machu picchu tours

← Comentários anteriores
Comentários posteriores →
Publicidade
Publicidade
  • RSSAssinar o Feed do blog
  • Emailxicosa@uol.com.br
  • FacebookFacebook
  • Twitter@xicosa

Buscar

Busca

Blogs da Folha

  • Recent posts Xico Sá
  1. 1

    O partido dos corações partidos

  2. 2

    A arte da cantada permanente

  3. 3

    O tal do amor aberto dá certo?

  4. 4

    E Abelardo da Hora recriou a mulher

  5. 5

    Como eleição mexe com amor e sexo

SEE PREVIOUS POSTS

Arquivo

  • ARQUIVO DE 20/03/2011 a 11/02/2012

Sites relacionados

  • UOL - O melhor conteúdo
  • BOL - E-mail grátis
Publicidade
Publicidade
Publicidade
  • Folha de S.Paulo
    • Folha de S.Paulo
    • Opinião
    • Assine a Folha
    • Atendimento
    • Versão Impressa
    • Política
    • Mundo
    • Economia
    • Painel do Leitor
    • Cotidiano
    • Esporte
    • Ciência
    • Saúde
    • Cultura
    • Tec
    • F5
    • + Seções
    • Especiais
    • TV Folha
    • Classificados
    • Redes Sociais
Acesso o aplicativo para tablets e smartphones

Copyright Folha de S.Paulo. Todos os direitos reservados. É proibida a reprodução do conteúdo desta página em qualquer meio de comunicação, eletrônico ou impresso, sem autorização escrita da Folhapress (pesquisa@folhapress.com.br).