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Xico Sá

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Com duas mulheres sob o mesmo teto

Por xicosa
21/03/12 07:36

O drama da hora é o seguinte: uma teia de aranha e duas fêmeas em guerra velada.

Vamos explicar direito. Sigam, por favor, minha pobre narrativa:

Faxineira, diarista, empregada doméstica ou qualquer funcionária do lar de um homem solteiro é sempre uma beleza.

Um carinho, um zelo, botões repostos nas camisas, roupa cheirosa, cama, mesa e banho.

Tudo no capricho, mesmo em um mocó de um macho-jurubeba, aquele cara que mora em um apê sem cortinas, talheres tortos e copos de requeijão.

Mesmo assim, essas bravas diaristas trabalham assoviando o sucesso da hora, o hit do rádio, apesar da vida nada fácil.

Trabalhar para um marmanjo solitário é muito mais jogo. O cara nunca vai implicar com aquela teia de aranha no teto ou uma manchinha qualquer na roupa lavada.

Aí basta o mancebo arrumar um xodó, um rolo, um cacho, uma costela… para aquele humor desmanchar-se aos poucos.

A nova namorada inicia um processo de pitacos. A diarista cessa aquela alegria besta de dantes.

Com pouco tempo, as duas criaturas normalmente não se entendem, gênios difíceis.

Quem paga somos nós, porcos chauvinistas, que não teremos mais aqueles botões repostos na camisa colorida -aquela mesma, caríssimo Paulinho da Viola, que cobria a minha dor, na canção do amor no Recife.

Uma não repõe os botões por despeito e protesto contra a nova inquilina; outra não zela por razões ideológicas, ora, não pode incentivar o machismo -sim, trata-se de uma mulher evoluída, emancipada, moderna.

Duas mulheres sob o mesmo teto, a menos que você seja um poderoso sultão, é jogo duro.

Seja sogra, diarista, tia, mãe, irmã… E quando as TPM´s coincidem? Vixe, fica tudo tão difícil quanto atravessar o Mar Vermelho.

E quando não batem os signos?

O xodó tira um móvel de um canto, a diarista muda uma planta de lugar…

A diarista esquece a teia de aranha lá no cantinho da parede, o xodó faz um apocalipse…

O xodó implica, a diarista começa a falar bem da sua ex, com quem também fazia uma batalha dos Guararapes sem trégua.

Até o fatídico dia do juízo final: “Ou ela ou eu!”.

As duas dizem quase em uníssono.

Com quem você fica, amigo?

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