Devolvam meu suor, pilantras

Por xicosa

12/03/12 06:41

Numa certa manhã, acordei de sonhos intranquilos e a Receita Federal, por ordem de um honesto juiz paulistano, bloqueou R$ 18 mil e uns quebrados de uma velha conta-salário do Bradescão donde sempre estava devendo ao cheque especial etc.

Os idiotas esperaram a horinha certa para levarem meu suado dinheirinho de crônicas amorosas. Bando de pilantra, roubando o lirismo dos homens que amam.

Justo no dia que caiu uma laminha duns frilas, creu, pegaram, bando de fi de rapariga. Por que não pegam o auxílio-paletó do Senado, né, amigo e repórter João Valadares?

Não, jamais chamarei esses honestos senhores, que nunca bloquearam a conta do Sarney e de outras autoridades, de filhos da puta. Jamais. Perdão, ímpios e frios monstros. São grandes homens, mesmo que eles nunca tenham me avisado.

Jamais pegarão uma piaba ou um lambari do Crivela, só de babacas civis como nosostros.

Tudo bem, por não ter casa própria mudo sempre de endereço, como avisar quem está sempre mudando de canto igual cascavel de pele?. Eles estão cobertos de razão até os chifres. As correspondências não caíram na caixa postal das minhas não-casas, palhoças, cachoeiras da chapada do Araripe.

Eles me deixaram momentaneamente sem grana. Como nunca fizeram com os caras da privataria nem do mensalão, por exemplo. Deixa quieto, tá limpo.

Até botei advogado. E vou ter que catar papel de rescisões de lugares que me deram o cano, como na compra do Diario Popular pelas Organizações Globo etc, para citar apenas um exemplo midiático.

Não sei de quem diabo é a culpa, além da minha leseira de barnabé que não cuida direito das coisas. Caguei para o Fisco, caro Shakespeare. Só faltava eu ter que deixar minha cerveja gelada para preparar documentos idiotas.

Quem deve se prevenir disso tudo são os ladrões, não os homens que gastam tudo com as suas humildes existências e suas mulheres que precisam tomar ou comer uma coisinha decente –este é o meu grande gasto a descoberto.

Posso estar totalmente errado. E certo. Porque gatuno de fato estou longe de sê-lo. Só sei que são de sujeitos desleixados como eu que o Leão vai no rastro.

Como repórter investigativo estive atrás dos maiores devedores da República. Nunca vi bloquearem os centavos dos grandes sobrenomes.

Ah, levem essa disgrama pra vocês, babacas, repassem para as empreiteiras honestas, quem sabe para as obras do PAC ou da Copa. Botem na conta da OAS ou da Odebrecht, quem sabe da Queiroz Galvão. Desse povo honesto que nunca sonega, que nunca subcontrata gatos para a Transposição do São Francisco, para estas reservas morais que conheço até o caroço do olho.

Certamente me sobraram algumas moedas para tomar amanhã uma cerveja. Quem sabe aquela que o amigo Science já pregava. Aquela antes do almoço pra ficar pensando melhor.

Claro, que, como um Corisco, já já batarei em vossas portas. Se o Leão é forte, o cangaceirismo do Pajeu, donde vem minha destemida madre à cabidela , me encoraja para passar essas minhas mãos sujas e sartreanas em vossas caras. Me aguardem.

Boa segunda a todos. Se é que isso é possível. E desobediência civil para sempre, se é que vocês me entendem!

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