Qual o maior metrossexual do Brasil?

Por xicosa

09/03/12 03:49

E da costela de David Beckham, Deus fez o metrossexual, mas a frescura, a baitolagem como dizem meus amigos cearenses, é das mais antigas.

Quem seriam hoje os maiores nomes do metrossexualismo tupiniquim? Vamos elegê-los.

Michel Telló, os breganejos todos, Eike Batista, Rodrigo Santoro, William Bonner,o Chalita, Zeca Camargo, padre Marcelo Rossi, Ronaldo FenômenoACM Neto, João Paulo Diniz e outros playboys paulistanos?

Enquanto vocês pensam e ampliam a lista, deixo ai umas linhas pra gente tentar enteder a origem dessa modinha.

Um dos primeiros metrossexuais que vi foi o Ronnie Von, o Príncipe, ainda hoje o mais elegante dos apresentadores da nossa tevê.

Mas ainda no madrugador ano de 1926, um grave e severo editorial do Chicago Tribune pôs na conta do galã Rodolfo Valentino (1995-1926) a culpa pela primeira onda de feminização do homem na América.

Pura sacanagem dos jornalistas, óbvio, como nos relata o escriba H.L.Mencken n´”O Livro dos Insultos”, relançado agora mesmo no Brasil pela editora Companhia das Letras.

Jornalismo marron à parte, quem teria sido, cá na terra do mulato de inzonas tantas, o responsável pelas primeiras influências na baitolização do macho brasileiro de raiz?

O Databotequim, instituto de pesquisas boemias deste cronista de costumes, despachou as suas mais gentis funcionárias para ouvir o distinto público nas boas casas do ramo.

O cantor Mário Reis (1907 -1981), rapaz de fino trato, teria sido o nosso primeiro homem célebre a influenciar a plebe rude nesse quesito, conforme o levantamento feito por nossas vestais e imparciais pesquisadoras.

Não que fosse um metrossexual àquela altura, não que fosse à imagem e semelhança do Valentino de “Os quatro cavaleiros do apocalipse” ou de “O Sheik”, por exemplo.

Simplesmente por emprestar uma sensibilidade mínima ao então cenário de macheza absoluta. O intérprete de “Carinhos da vovó” e “Deus nos livre do castigo das mulheres” era um moço cuidadoso com o visual, um dândi, sempre na estica e nos bons modos.

O mais lembrado é Mário Reis, sim senhor. A fila de possíveis pioneiros, todavia, nela incluídos héteros e homos semi-declarados, dobra quarteirões.

Castro Alves, rival do abolicionista Joaquim Nabuco nessa peleja, tem destaque na galeria, como lembra a amiga Bia Abramo ao cronista. Beirava o janota, é o que diz o seu biógrafo Alberto da Costa e Silva.

Ai vemos também na fila o João do Rio, o Cauby Peixoto, a Carmem Miranda –praticamente inventora do travestismo no país-, o boleiro Heleno de Freitas, que de tão preocupado com o visual chegava a jogar futebol com um pente no bolso,.

E assime tantos outros gamenhos do meu Brasil varonil, como diz o Zé Bonitinho, este o mais radical e testosteronizado do time do macho-jurubeba.

Rápida arqueologia feita, vamos aos pitacos. Quem são hoje os maiores metrossexuais do Brasil? Votos aí nos comentários. Resultado na próxima semana.

Um brinde de sexta-feira!

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