Quando a mulher fala em retorno de Saturno

Por xicosa

06/03/12 12:59

Ih, amigo, ela me soprou aqui no ouvido: é o retorno de Saturno… Então repito uma verdade crônica:

Quando a tua mulher ou namorada, meu caro , começa a falar em retorno de Saturno, na simbologia do tarô, nos recados do feng shui etc, te liga, campeão: é pé na bunda à vista.

Como já alertei aqui neste blog, por trás de todo mapa astral ou de uma nova visita à cartomante há sempre um bom par de chifre à nossa espera.

Ai só nos resta chupar o frio chicabom da solidão, como me ensinou o tio Nelson.

Só nos resta mascar o jiló do desprezo. Só nos cabe sentar à margem do rio Piedra e chorar, segundo a recomendação do mago Paulo Coelho, este incansável místico..

Sim, amigo, a mulher é esotérica desde a véspera da tragédia. Nós batemos na porta da cigana mais vagabunda apenas depois que Inês é morta.

Aqui me pego, agora mesmo, reparem no ridículo, lendo o destino e a sorte na borra de café, o velho método das Arábias.

Mais perdido do que um escoteiro nerd e lesado no Pico da Neblina, um homem é capaz de tudo. No mato sem cachorro ou GPS, o macho moderno, este cara carente de banco de praça, faz sinal de SOS até para náufragos piores do que ele. Ô vidinha-Titanic!.

Opa, calma, calma, que vejo algo nos desenhos involuntários do fundo da xícara. Tento enxergar na borra do café o meu destino, a minha sorte e as escaramuças da pessoa amada, aquela maldita que nos parafusa na testa uma fantasia de viking.

Sério, amigo, somos esotéricos depois que a casa cai.

Perai, epa, calma de novo que vejo algo bem definido no diabo da xícara. Parece uma fruta. Pera, uva, maçã? Limpo as lentes de quase dez graus de miopia e astigmatismo e finalmente decifro: uma cebola!

Retrato do meu choro e do abandono? Seria o mais óbvio e imediatista. Na dúvida, recorro ao “Guia da leitura no sedimento do café –arte milenar árabe de interpretar sua vida”, um livro da Batia Shorek e Sara Zehavi, que acabo de adquirir em um sebo carioca.

Opa, reparem só no significado da tal cebola: “Indica que a pessoa amada esconde algo do seu cônjugue e o assunto escondido é importante e pode machucá-lo”.

Neste caso nem escondia mais, já havia ido embora, estava da caixa-prego para a frente, mas reparem como funciona a leitura da borra!

Como homem, apenas li atrasado o fundo da xícara. Uma fêmea mística teria sabido tudo de véspera.

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