10 coisas esquisitas no início do fim do mundo

Por xicosa

23/02/12 03:45

Finalmente o ano em que mundo vai acabar começou. E começou repleto de paradoxos e estranhezas.

Um ano assim meio Carrie, a estranha (na foto), como no filme estranhíssimo dirigido por Brian De Palma em 1976. Gênio do mal-assombro.

Não há estranheza, porém, no gol perdido de Deivid, na virada do Vasco sobre o Flamengo não conta. Se fosse no sexo não seria apenas uma brochada (ou broxada, como admitem alguns dicionários), seria uma castração, caro doutor Freud.

Norrrmal.

Vamos às 10 coisas mais esquisitas deste início do ano da graça de 2012:

1) Luiz Gonzaga, o maior artista brasileiro de todos os tempos, fugia do carnaval como o diabo da cruz. Foi o grande vencedor da folia momesca. Só deu ele na melhor festa de rua do mundo, homenageadíssimo no Recife. Deu o Rei do Baião na cabeça no triunfo da Unidos da Tijuca.

2) Kassab, com aquela cara de leso, pode entrar para a história como o primeiro político a engambelar o Lula. Fechou apoio ao petista Haddad e deve cair nos braços de Serra na disputa pela prefeitura de SP.

3) São Paulo, o clube, contrata Justus para atrair investidores. Precisa dizer mais alguma coisa?

4) Uma colaboração gringa: Ron Wood diz que Rolling Stones “estão prontos” para nova turnê. Sosseguem, minhas pedrinhas preciosas!

5) Paris, Urgente: Brigitte Bardot, tão libertária em muitos anos de vida, apoia histericamente o fascismo dos Le Pen nas eleições francesas. Só ouvindo a música do Tom Zé, agora mesmo, sobre a velha e gostosa musa!

6) Madri, caliente: cansada de se curvar ao Brasil, a Europa agora se curva a uma cópia fiel da Monalisa do acervo do Museu do Prado.

7) Lei Antiálcool é a única coisa que dá certo no Carnaval de São Paulo. Recorde de multas. No que o meu amigo Pereira, paulistano da gema, viva o Brooklin Novo, parodia o tio Nelson Rodrigues: “A pior forma de solidão é a companhia de um paulista sóbrio na folia momesca”.

8) Botar um bloco na rua em SP, caro amigo Sergio Sampaio, é mais burocrático do que enterrar um morto no interior de Cuba. Pra liberar a alegria é um tédio cartorial sem fim junto às subprefeituras.

O cordão Kolombolo, que sai na Vila Madalena, foi interrompido pela polícia ainda na véspera carnavalesca.

O bloco Acadêmicos do Baixo Augusta acabou exilado em um estacionamento alugado.

9) Manchete cotidiana: Jovem é morta após reagir a cantada durante Carnaval no Rio. Pior é que não é apenas no Carnaval. Muito menos somente no Rio. O puxão de cabelo e o beijo à força, essas tremendas delicadezas em matéria de cantada de macho escroto, continuam rolando em Salvador e nas ladeiras de Olinda.

10) O rodízio de carros em SP volta a vigorar e não sentiremos menor efeito. Defendo o esquema meio a meio. Metade fica na garagem e metade vai pra rua –uma vez que essa obsessão maluca pelo automóvel não tem jeito mesmo!

Como diz o amigo Peréio, habitante da Bela Vista, “sou pedrestre, puerra!”

Deixe agora, amigo, aí nos comentários, a sua contibuição às coisas esquisitas deste 2012 que começa agora. Sim, só o senso comum me interessa. E bom fim do mundo a todos!

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