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Homem do gás é o fetiche sexual da hora

Por xicosa
17/02/12 18:09

Nada do velho mecânico sujo de graxa,  o pescador da praia deserta ou caminhoneiro na banguela do desejo e da sorte. O fetiche da vez é o homem do gás.

É o grande bagaceiro deste carnaval. Ele estava na prévia-cabaré do bloco “I love Cafusú”, no Recife, ele já está nas ladeiras de Olinda, ele é onipresente na farra momesca.

Aquele barulhinho e tudo no botijão, tec-tec-tec, prefixo incendiário dos vendedores do gênero, virou Mozart para o ouvido das moças, as moças prendadas, as moças que cozinham os nossos juízos e fazem sarapatel dos nossos corações em plena lua de mel.

O encanador, esqueça, o operário teve o seu tempo entre as belas comunistas dos anos 70. O leiteiro, adeus, foi atropelado pela vaca mecânica. O carteiro, coitado, foi mordido pelos cães modernos da impaciência, a carta de amor também, meu bem, já era.

Adeus urso pé-de-lã, civilizadíssimo, bons modos, amante da discrição e do silêncio, o sábio come-quieto, esqueça.

A hora e a vez, reza a crônica de costumes, é do nada discreto homem do gás. Celebrado pelo grupo Tanga de Sereia, aqui em Pernambuco, o malaco, o ligeiro, o tinhoso, o tampa de Crush dos novos tempos não é apenas mais um Ricardão passageiro, coisa de moda, tendência etc.

O homem do gás é o novo terror dos lares, mal-assombro sem mistério que age em plena luz do dia, ali por volta das onze e meia, quando o tempero da vizinha reacende a vida, quando a fome e a vontade de comer dançam a valsa da “mucica”, quando a panela de pressão apita na curva.

Pense numa criatura por quem não podemos mesmo botar a mão no fogo. Imagine numa criatura altamente periculosa e inflamável.

“Eu tão necessitada,mandei ele entrar/ Não esqueço jamais/ E com o meu corpo em chamas/ Fiz amor com o homem do gás”, diz a edificante letra de Paulo Roberto, rapaz decente do “Tanga”.

Mas perdição mesmo é o clipe da  música do Tanga de Sereia com a atriz Hermila Guedes no papel da honesta chofer de forno & fogão. Um sucesso aquele shortinho amarelo!

É, amigo, o cafuçu da hora é o homem do gás, todo cuidado é pouco com esse cabra, pois ele chega justo na hora em que você reclama da comida de casa, na hora do enjôo, do fastio de viver, exatamente naquela fase que negamos amor & fuego  à pessoa amada.

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