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Etiqueta: até que o Carnaval os separe

Por xicosa
15/02/12 12:58

Evoé, Momo! O blog mais amoroso do país, sempre preocupado com o que restará dos casais depois das cinzas da quarta-feira, deixa aqui algumas dicas para os foliões enamorados.

Resumo do baticum: como sobreviver inclusive aos tremendos e naturalíssimos barracos momescos.

Você sabe, amigo, você entende, amiga, é difícil brincar o carnaval com as algemas amorosas em punho.

Comédia de erros mais troncha. Pobres casais que resolvem pôr a algema e sobreviver juntinhos à prova de sacanagens e adultérios provisórios.

E aqueles pombinhos acolá, repare bem, se separaram antes do cocorocó dionisíaco do Galo da Madrugada.

Não sobreviveram às saídas do “Enquanto isso na Sala da Justiça”, do “I love Cafusú” nas ladeiras de Olinda. Não aguentaram nem a maciota do “Urso Manhoso da Mustardinha” no Pátido de São Pedro.

Cada um para o seu lado até o bacalhau da quarta. Até as cinzas cristãs para benzer e encobrir os chifres na fronte do artista.

Seja no Recife, Rio ou Salvador, a mesma pipoca do amor e da sorte. Danou-se.

Porque separação de carnaval não conta, é resenha de horas, fábula com urso do pé de lã como protagonista, os Ricardões clandestinos da vida.

Barraco para turista ver que não somos cool, ah, de jeito nenhum, que não somos frios, que não somos ingleses, que o meu sangue ferve por vocês, minhas jambo-girls fantasiadas de colegiais, diabinhas ou de freiras.

Quantas vezes já vimos essa comédia?

Existem os que se separam na semana pré ou na véspera do glorioso sábado de Zé Pereira. Haja nego a inventar confusão sem sentido a semana toda. Cantando o tempo inteiro “Me dê motivo!”

Haja lavagem de roupa suja, pendengas antigas, roupa que já virou molambo, pano de chão, qualquer coisa serve para uma boa refrega.

Passar na cara do outro uns chifres que de tão velhos já viraram artesanato, pente, bugiganga de hippie, enfeite do Bar dos Cornos…

Me dê motivo! Que comédia! Tudo para dar uns beijos na boca de uns belos desconhecidos e desconhecidas.

Traição de carnaval não conta, meu irmão, perdão pela ignorância, mas sai na urina.

Na quarta lá estão vocês, dividindo a mesma aspirina, a mesma rotina-tapioca da harmonia dos lares.

“Então tá combinado, cada um vai para o seu lado.” Bom se pudesse ser assim, mas o sangue quente não deixa, somos passionais, corações à cabidela, corações ao molho sanguinolento.

Vai ser sempre um drama, diz que me ama, porra. Então tá combinado, coincidência de pensamento, cada um na sua safadeza.

Então tá combinado, se quer aprontar, não me atarracha um chifre público, vai lá no privê do Baile dos Casados, lá em Afogados, Recife, Pernambuco.

Então tá combinado, tu brincaste todo à vontade no bloco das Virgens, vestido de heterossexual enrustido, agora me deixe, peste!

Pense! Pense num casal mal-intencionado! Esse sim, um raro casal relax, civilizadíssimo, fica beijando de três, quatro, valha-me Deus, seriam do bloco dos pansexuais?

Eu já vi esse filme, viste? Se é um casal de primeira viagem, primeiro carnaval de mãos dadas, menos grave, embora os perigos rondem a carne do mesmo jeito.

E quando um dos dois vira o maior moralista desse mundo, conservado em barris de bons costumes, condenando até o beijo no rosto mais inocente?

Pense em dias em que se vive perigosamente. E a graça é essa. A boa onda da festa da carne. No melhor sentido cristão que deu origem à fuzarca.

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